The Art of Pickup

              The Cactus Cooler - my new favorite shot (next to the 

                                       Washington Apple)

I think it's about time I start talking about some bars and nightlife in LA.  Yes, I do love my food, although nothing follows up a good meal like good drinks and good company.  Am I right or am I right?  Before heading out to any bar/socially interactive environment, I suggest the following reads:

Ladies and Gents: The Game (non fiction) by Neil Strauss is by far one of my favorite books.  "Pauli, why does the book look like the Bible?"  Well, my friends, that's because it is the dating bible for men and women alike.  This book will teach you the tricks of the trade and let you know when you are getting IOIs and negs, and show you the tell-tale signs of a true player.  I consider myself one of these true players in the dating game and contribute much of my success to this book.  It will definitely keep you intrigued the entire way through.  You can also check out The Pickup Artist on VH1, hosted by Mystery, a main player in the book, to see how nerdy guys are transformed into master pickup artists.  Or you could just step out into the field with me.  Wing people are my heroes.  

Ladies: If you haven't read He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, you are doing yourself a huge disservice.  This book is a quick, entertaining read and has saved me from many years of heartache.  Just because he's just not that into you doesn't mean you have to be into him, and you really have to learn that, many times, a guy is just not that into you for inexplicable reasons.  Grow a pair, deal with it, and move on.  There are plenty of other fish in the sea.  Don't try and reach out to a guy who isn't man enough to give you the attention you deserve.  I keep telling this to myself time and time again as I leap over the frogs on the path to Prince Charming.  Yo, P.C., you out there??

Back to bars.  You can frequently find me at Bar Lubitsch in West Hollywood.  Weekends are best and get there before 10:30 to avoid a line.  Smoking patio in front, bar in the middle, dance party in back.  A little something for everyone.  Attractive crowd, too.  Although last time I went I was hit on by a middle-aged creeper who asked me if I'd date a guy who listened to Disney music.  Sorry, chump.  I only date straight men who are half the age of my dad.  Thanks.  Did I mention that the Lub' is also walking distance to Astroburger?  Oh yes...oh yes.  

Two other staples are Barney's Beanery and St. Nick's, both in West Hollywood.  You can roll up in jeans, flip flops and a t-shirt and not be hassled.  Sadly, neither joint hosts a Happy Hour.  They need to fix that.  

Barney's is this long-standing rocker bar, serving a surprisingly wide array of food (their menu is a newspaper!) and providing a lively spot for watching sporting events.  It's hit or miss with the crowd, yet always results in a good time.  I'm not gonna lie, I did barf the last time I ate their chicken fingers, but my stomach is just not that into fried food.  I won't hold it against them.  

The best part of St. Nick's is the ginormous size of their drinks.  For $7 you get a cocktail that's about three times the size of one you'd get at Area.  St. Nick's is this hole-in-the-wall pub that fills up on the weekends starting around 11:30.  I dig the crowds, so to attain peak mingling opportunities I'd recommend relaxing and sipping some $2.99 J.W. Morris Riesling (Trader Joe's) before hopping in a cab to get there.  The later the better.

*Notable mentions are listed under "Lush Locations."