Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Art of Pickup



              The Cactus Cooler - my new favorite shot (next to the 
                                       Washington Apple)

I think it's about time I start talking about some bars and nightlife in LA.  Yes, I do love my food, although nothing follows up a good meal like good drinks and good company.  Am I right or am I right?  Before heading out to any bar/socially interactive environment, I suggest the following reads:

Ladies and Gents: The Game (non fiction) by Neil Strauss is by far one of my favorite books.  "Pauli, why does the book look like the Bible?"  Well, my friends, that's because it is the dating bible for men and women alike.  This book will teach you the tricks of the trade and let you know when you are getting IOIs and negs, and show you the tell-tale signs of a true player.  I consider myself one of these true players in the dating game and contribute much of my success to this book.  It will definitely keep you intrigued the entire way through.  You can also check out The Pickup Artist on VH1, hosted by Mystery, a main player in the book, to see how nerdy guys are transformed into master pickup artists.  Or you could just step out into the field with me.  Wing people are my heroes.  

Ladies: If you haven't read He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, you are doing yourself a huge disservice.  This book is a quick, entertaining read and has saved me from many years of heartache.  Just because he's just not that into you doesn't mean you have to be into him, and you really have to learn that, many times, a guy is just not that into you for inexplicable reasons.  Grow a pair, deal with it, and move on.  There are plenty of other fish in the sea.  Don't try and reach out to a guy who isn't man enough to give you the attention you deserve.  I keep telling this to myself time and time again as I leap over the frogs on the path to Prince Charming.  Yo, P.C., you out there??

Back to bars.  You can frequently find me at Bar Lubitsch in West Hollywood.  Weekends are best and get there before 10:30 to avoid a line.  Smoking patio in front, bar in the middle, dance party in back.  A little something for everyone.  Attractive crowd, too.  Although last time I went I was hit on by a middle-aged creeper who asked me if I'd date a guy who listened to Disney music.  Sorry, chump.  I only date straight men who are half the age of my dad.  Thanks.  Did I mention that the Lub' is also walking distance to Astroburger?  Oh yes...oh yes.  

Two other staples are Barney's Beanery and St. Nick's, both in West Hollywood.  You can roll up in jeans, flip flops and a t-shirt and not be hassled.  Sadly, neither joint hosts a Happy Hour.  They need to fix that.  

Barney's is this long-standing rocker bar, serving a surprisingly wide array of food (their menu is a newspaper!) and providing a lively spot for watching sporting events.  It's hit or miss with the crowd, yet always results in a good time.  I'm not gonna lie, I did barf the last time I ate their chicken fingers, but my stomach is just not that into fried food.  I won't hold it against them.  

The best part of St. Nick's is the ginormous size of their drinks.  For $7 you get a cocktail that's about three times the size of one you'd get at Area.  St. Nick's is this hole-in-the-wall pub that fills up on the weekends starting around 11:30.  I dig the crowds, so to attain peak mingling opportunities I'd recommend relaxing and sipping some $2.99 J.W. Morris Riesling (Trader Joe's) before hopping in a cab to get there.  The later the better.

*Notable mentions are listed under "Lush Locations."


Friday, February 27, 2009

Rub My Tummy for Good Luck



Last night, my girl Mara and I had quite the date (yes, boys, it was better than any you have taken me on).  We started off at Buddha's Belly on the corner of Beverly and Gardner (the other location is near 3rd Street in Santa Monica).  This place is SO delicious and vegetarian- and vegan-friendly.  We started off with the Spicy Ahi Tuna Tartare, then followed it up with the Thai Green Curry Chicken and Tofu Steak.  So tasty.  The prices are surprisingly low and the ambiance is very chill.  Street parking might be tough but the valet is only $4.  So spring up, cheapos.  

After dinner, we went to Crane's Tavern (no website) in Hollywood to see a band called Zenrizing.  The music was loud and I even found myself tapping my booties every so often.  And to say the performance was entertaining would be an understatement.  At times, I channeled Randy Jackson and was like, "Yo, dawg, that performance was a bit pitchy!" but the band definitely gets into the jams...and two of the band members even took off their shirts.  Hot?  Mara and I were totally sober which heightened the experience, but swig back some brewskies or pop an acid tab and you'll travel to another dimension.  Show times are listed on their site.  I'll even go along if you want to tag-team a viewing.  

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Grandpa Irv Would Be Proud




Irv's Burgers brings it. By “it,” I mean quality and customer service. Irv’s became an historical landmark after it almost went down to development a few years ago. Rumor had it that it was going to become a Peet’s Coffee.

Irv’s has a wide range of choices, including some vegetarian fare. If you get there before 11AM you can try out their breakfast burrito, which is made with love. You can also get hot and cold sandwiches. A combo runs $5.00 - $6.00, which is an amazing value. A combo at a fast food joint will run you about the same amount of dough, and Irv’s food is higher quality.

The very friendly Hong Family helped (along with hundreds of other Irv's enthusiasts who signed a petition) rescue this hip dive from demolition in 2005. You'll always get a smiley face on your plate, and a genuine “hello,” from Sonia Hong.

Irv definitely has a leg up on Mary! Although you can get a solid dose of tranny bingo across the street at Hamburger Mary's, stick with Irv if you're looking for the better, fresher burger.

The fries at Irv’s aren't fantastic. Ask for them well done if you want a little crisp to your potato. They are certainly good enough to accompany the fresh burger that will grace your mouth.

Irv’s Burgers (no website)
8289 Santa Monica Blvd. (Sweetzer), West Hollywood CA 90046
Closed on Sunday.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Hot Sub!




Screw Subway, man. No matter how much lettuce they throw on top of the packaged turkey on that bread, I always leave there feeling unsatisfied. When I want a sandwich, I want a big, hearty, meaty sandwich that fills my belly to the brim.

Now I used to be in sales. For three years, I sold and bought air space for television and radio stations all over the country. I'm also outgoing and perky and could probably sell you a piece of crap covered in 14K gold if I tried hard enough. But a sandwich from Jersey Mike's Subs? Now that I don't have to sell.

This stuff is the real deal. Freshly sliced meat right in front of your eyes. Bread baked daily on premises. Fresh cheese and toppings. The workers have high energy, are enthusiastic, and up the ante of the store's vibe. Oh, and although they're young, the workers aren't half bad to look at either. The #13 Italian is their most popular sandwich and my favorite is the #7, turkey and provolone, on wheat, minus the provolone, add salami, Mike's Way, no tomato. For $10 you get a regular-sized sandwich, chips, and a drink. Don't pass on the cookies. They're incredible. My two faves are the chocolate chip (200 calories) and oatmeal reason (180 calories). Just do an extra 20 minutes on the treadmil at 4.1 mph with an 8.0 incline. Then you won't feel so guilty.

Oh, and my uncle owns the place. But you were sold before I said that, right? There's a reason why he's #2 out of the hundreds of stores in the country.

19350 C Nordhoff St.
Northridge, CA 91324
(in the Best Buy shopping center across from the Northridge Mall)

"A Blessing On Your Head, Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov"








Now some of you may look at this pictures and think, "Oy vey!" And oy vey is quite right, my friends. As alluded to in previous posts, I have a MAJOR sweet tooth. Stemming from, well, both sides of my family, I can scarf sweets morning, noon, night, and/or late night. These two delicacies you see above are two of my absolute favorites:

1. Mini Blinis (bottom)
A recipe that comes from Chicago, courtesy of my dad's girlfriend, Gayle, and my Aunt Sherry, these mini blinis are little logs of heaven. They're this stellar combination of cream cheese, eggs, sugar, butter, cinnamon, and white bread. Oh wow. Allow at least 5 minutes per bathroom trip per log (no pun intended). The recipe is top secret, so you'll need to contact Yours Truly for inside info on how to make them.

This is where I will get my wedding cake, without a doubt (don't worry, dad, it'll happen one day). Light and fluffy inside, perfectly textured buttercream frosting outside. Get the marble cake with the white buttercream frosting. O...M...G. Two locations in the LA area: in Tazana on Ventura just east of Reseda and in Beverly Hills on Beverly Drive. It has become somewhat of a tradition in my family to order these cakes for big occasions. Today's occasion celebrated my cousin's girlfriend's conversion to Judiasm. And what do Jews do on joyous occasions (or any occasion, for that matter)? We eat. And eat. And eat. Mazel tov, LeeAnn!

Some other noteworthy desserts:
- Mrs. Beasley's Chocolate Truffles (covered in powdered sugar). Rich, chocolatey, andsimply delicious.
(Tarzana, Encino, Brentwood, Beverly Hills and other various retail locations)

- Diddy Riese's Ice Cream Sandwiches. Price has jumped to a stifling $1.50, but well worth the laundry quarters. Their m&m cookies are by far the best. And paired with their peanut butter cup ice cream? Oh wow. No lactaid pills can save you here. But really, I'd confine myself to solitary with a stomach full of gas pains for this tasty and cheap sweet treat. The line is long but deceiving. It moves rather quickly.


- Al Gelato's Bread Pudding and Apple Pie. Not only does this long-standing Italian gelateria have incredible, homemade desserts, they also have great Italian food (who doesn't love giant meatballs?). If you get the apple pie, make sure it's heated up with caramel sauce. It's also great a la mode, but I skip the vanilla gelato because Pauli + ice cream = disaster. But that's just me and all the other lactards. Be sure to request that the bread pudding is heated up too.
No website. 806 S. Robertson Blvd (cross street is Gregory). Cash ONLY. No reservations.

Better than Sprinkles. Frosting on top and in the middle. $3.75 per cupcake but well worth it. 'Nuff said.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I'm on a Vacation from Another Vacation



Aunt Joyce sucking her finger clean after sticking it in a Farm-e-o.

This week, I have been graced with a visit from my Aunt Joyce and cousin Ally from NY, my home away from home. I attribute the birth of this blog to Ally, because she was the one who told me to share my LA faves with all of you, since I have something to say about almost every place I pass.

With visitors in town (family or friends), I take advantage of frequenting my personal hot spots and trying new ones. Here's what we've done this week:

First of all, how could you not like a restaurant whose name rhymes with its city? Awesome. While here, I tried porridge for the first time. Yeah, just call me Goldilocks. It wasn't too hot, wasn't too cold. It was juuuust right. Topped off with strawberries and pecans, this is a healthy and filling breakfast treat. I also recommend getting it with soy milk for all you lactose intolerant fools (present company included) in order to avoid a quick rush to the bathroom. Just looking out for you. The green tea latte (with soy milk, duh), was also surprising delicious. Not as good as Starbucks', but pretty damn yummy.

The best Mexican food in LA. Their mole really is "The best mole eeeen toooooooown!" Really. This place is authentic. Come prepared for a five-course meal. No menus. The dude that tells you what's for dinner will ask you what kind of meat or fish you like and go from there. It's $22.95 a plate (including the frills that come along with it) and don't be cheap and pass on the margaritas - they're amazing. Try the original one - it's like this pineapple, mango, guava concoction. $5/glass, $12/pitcher. Go for the pitcher. The service is great and they're incredibly accommodating. I was deciding (aloud) between my favorite mole and the chicken "A la crema," and the waiter brought me a combo plate without even asking. Love it. Oh, and don't forget those Lactaid pills for this meal. You get a heart portion of queso. Also a great date spot. Bumpin' on the weekends so make a reservation. Not open on Mondays. Be sure to fill out a comment card at the end and you'll get a coupon (I think they email it now) for one free dinner for each group of two or more -- not valid on weekends or holidays.

I've only eaten there once and remember it being good. I took an 8-year old on a babysitting date (hot, I know) after seeing a movie at the Grove and it seemed like there was something for everyone on the menu. It's moderately priced and my aunt and cousin say it's fantastic (they're staying in Beverly Hills so they've checked it out a bunch). The best part of The Farm? The FARM-E-O'S!! Giant Oreo cookies with vanilla frosting in the middle (see picture above). I could eat frosting with a spoon. And frosting cookie sandwiches? One of my weaknesses. If you find yourself dating me and want to get me a gift, forget the flowers, give me Farm-e-o's!
*If you eat these Farm-e-o's, get your ass to the Porter Ranch YMCA for a Turbo Kick class with Corrine. You'll burn over 600 calories in one session, especially if you sweat as much as a girl with genes such as myself.

Awesome. It's this semi-new Asian fusion restaurant (less than a year old) whose ambiance is reminiscent of Tao in NYC. Big buddha structures, fountains, dark furniture, dim lighting. Definitely a hot spot and another great date spot. Brought to you by the same guys who do the Cheesecake Factory, this place did not disappoint. Most things on the menu are pretty damn spicy, so when I go back I'll ask for everything mild-to-medium. Great drinks too. I tried the Lychee Blossom and Ally had an Asian Pear Martini, while Aunt Joyce kept it real with a glass of Pinot Grigio. Unlike Cheesecake, Rock Sugar accepts reservations. Park in the parking structure over valet. It's free for the first three hours.

What's It All About?



So, you may be thinking, "What's this Hip Chick LA thing all about?"  Well, let me tell you that I am the last person you would imagine blogging.  I mean, I just learned how to upload mobile Facebook pics via my IPhone the other day and had to contact one of my closest friends, Alice, to figure out how the hell to even start a blog.  Her reaction?  "Love your blog idea -- very YOU, but super surprised you of all people want to blog."  I love how my friends know me so well.  

My name is Pauli.  I'm 26 years old and one of the few LA natives you'll meet when you come to this city.  LA has this rep of attracting C- and D-list actors and, believe me, I meet more douche bags (male and female) than I can count on my hands and toes...and your hands and toes...and your momma's hands and toes...in one night at Saddle Ranch.  So I'm here to show you what I love about LA and what keeps me here.  

I work hard.  I play hard.  I eat hard.  Some may call me a serial dater.  I don't deny myself of life's simple (and extravagant) pleasures.  I do intense cardio five to six times a week, at least an hour a session.  I'm a lean, mean, fighting machine.  I count calories (loosely), but eat like a beast because I am incredibly dedicated to my workouts.  I don't believe in passing up a Mrs. Beasley's chocolate truffle ball or Crumbs cupcake because it might add 350 calories to my life.  Oh well.  I'm going to share with you my LA favorites - not necessarily what you'll read about in US Weekly or where you'll see LiLo eating on the Sunset Strip (speaking of the Strip, Ketchup is horrendous).

Read on, enjoy, and feel free to leave any comments along the way.